Teeth
by Tince
Summary: Fresh fruit: the good, the bad, and the unpredictable. - *A healthy serving of Rayne.


Disclaimer: Mine? Nope. Non. Nein. Nyet. Nada.

A/N: Same deal. General continuity of timeline from my prior stories - which I've started internally referring to as _The Anatomy Series_. Hope you like it!

**Teeth**

by Tince

Jayne Cobb didn't know why he did it.

They said no good deed went unpunished. Gorram lying, no-good _hun dans_.

...he was being _tortured_.

They'd docked on Beaumonde a couple of days ago, for a quick re-fuel and re-supply, and Mal - feeling generous after the last job - had given 'em all the day off. Zoe and Inara had decided to go shopping together and had left almost as soon as they had landed. The Doc after checkin' with his Cra-Riv-_his sister_, had left hand-in-hand with Kaylee, once the Girl assured him that she was stayin' with Mal on Serenity; and the two said they were headed in the direction of some food and parts.

No one asked where Jayne was going. And that was the way he gorram liked it.

He knew they assumed he was going to the nearest seedy dive for a couple of drinks, a whore or two, and maybe a fight (the holy gorram trinity, as he liked to call it) - his usual routine to burn off steam and loosen up after a couple of weeks stuck in the Black.

Good - he lik'd when people assumed things. Meant they were near _always _wrong.

Sure, he wanted a drink - and a good fight could cure a 'body of cabin fever better'n anything else - but he'd woken up in the morning with a single idea and he had the day to get it done.

As for the trim, he could use some and _soon_ (if the last three, _painful_ weeks were anything to go by) but he felt a sort of _hesitation_ every time he'd considered it...

...he wasn't going to think about that.

Bad enough that his _tastes_ had abandoned him in recent weeks (months, a sing-song voice in his brain corrected - damn voice sounded just like..._no one._), but he was not going to embarrass hisself by sittin' in his bunk, cryin' and moanin' and thinkin' about his _feelings_.

No. _ruttin'_. way.

So he'd set his sights on fulfilling the particular task he'd woken up with and for some reason, felt like it was necessary to complete. And followin' his previously successful method of ignore-and-conquer, he hadn't (in a unsettlin' habit from the past weeks and months) examined his motivation too much.

Walking to the marketplace had been easy - no questions, no curious looks - 'cause everyone had left before him. Gettin' from the peddlers and trawlers of _luh suh _scaves 'n hats 'n girly bits of pretty to the food stalls - undetected and without runnin' into a chatty Kaylee and suspicious Doc - that were 'nother matter altogether.

But he'd managed it, with some creative dupes and dummy routes (_stealth_, he smirked) and soon found himself hagglin' with the crusty, ol' fruit merchant. The man - who just 'bout reached Jayne's elbow, if'n he was standing on his tippy-toes - was either stupid 'n didn't realize the merc could break him in clear-half in the span of a few seconds, or he had lost all useful sight.

...yeah, the sap was probably blind.

Well, Jayne didn't pick fights with original inhabitants of Earth-that-Was, even if'n they were _wearin' on his patience right quick, _and was about to pay the man anyway (gotta make some sacrifices, sometimes), when Methuselah gave him a sudden toothy grin (with whatever was left of his full set - about six or seven), and promptly offered him two crates for half the original price of just one.

Huh.

Now Jayne 'ppreciated a discount as much as the next merc (with some well-placed _help_ or without) - he wouldn't be a good PR man if he didn't know how to spot a good bargain - but this was just a little to _generous._

Generosity made Jayne nervous.

'Specially when it weren't being paid for. He fixed his best, I'm-five-possibly-six-times-your-size stare at the tiny man 'afore him.

"An' why'd you do something like that, gramps?"

Oldie smiled at him again (in a sort of crazy-eyed way) and just wheezed out, "I have a feelin' they'll be put to good use by you. Be well taken care of."

...

Man was just as crazy as Moonb- uh, a crazy person.

Yeah.

Taking_ care _of fruit. Whatever. He'd had enough of this _go-se_.

He'd spent 99% more time than he'd wanted to, in a place where he didn't want to be, acquirin' _goods_ he weren't so sure he wanted.

Might as well chock it up to insane ol' geezers and their crustifyin' mental faculties. Suspicion was one thing, bein' stupid and all _noble _(Mal was _not_ his idea of a role model) was 'nother. Jayne weren't going to kick a gift horse in the face.

He'd grunted warily and paid Loony his sum (droppin' in a little extra - to cover the eventual asylum bills, he reasoned), hoisted the two crates - one atop the other - and headed on back to the ship.

And that evening, sittin' on the dining table in the mess, were two huge crates of fresh apples.

The crew had responded with somewhat disturbing pleasure. Kaylee throwin' herself at him (_again, _he huffed), Mal clappin' him on the shoulder, and 'Nara promisin' to make a pie with Kaylee's help. Weirdly, the Doc had kept on thankin' him in his stiff, but actually genuine, way. Jayne had grunted in response to their reaction (kinda felt nice, he would have admitted to himself... if he were'n the kind of person who admitted things to himself), but noted that the Doc had seemed a little too excited about some gorram fruit.

And Riv-_the Girl_ hadn't come out from wherever the hell she'd been hiding, so she only saw the fruit when she showed up for dinner a coupl'a hours later.

Simon, in that odd _enthusiastic_ way of his when it came to the apples, had immediately called to his sister as soon as she walked in, with a huge smile, "River, did you see what Jayne bought at the market? Fresh apples! Two whole crate-fulls! Your favourite."

At that point, the girl had broken into a real smile (not her creepy one, he noticed - and wondered when he started bein' able to tell the difference), and had slowlyfloated over (she never just plain ol' _walked_ like a normal person, he grumbled to himself) to her seat on Jayne's left.

He'd lowered his head after she'd come in - he'd recently developed this _annoyin'_ habit of looking at her too hard and too long - and so had purposefully focused on dishin' out the protein mash onto his plate. He watched her from the corner of his eye, getting closer to the chair at his left-hand.

Expectin' her to take a seat, his heart had near hammered out'ta his chest, when he'd instead felt the _whisper-soft_, but very firm, dry press of her lips to his cheek - closer to the corner of his mouth than was really helpful in maintaining his grasp on sanity.

_Sweet Buddha. _

And then it was over.

The distinctive, quiet and musical voice broke the somewhat surprised silence, "Thank you, Jayne, for the wonderful gift." And with that, she lowered herself gracefully into the seat, servin' herself a small scoop of protein.

There was a sudden cough, and he looked away - he'd been starin' at her, mouth slightly open - and noticed that Zoe (the _cougher_) and the rest of the table were staring - both shocked and slightly amused - at the two of them. Simon's earlier excitement had been wiped off his face, replaced with a certain amount of confusion and embarrassment. The Doc looked about ready to open his mouth and and say something.

_Oh jeez, Doc_ - _I got no answers for you_, Jayne thought and was tryin' to think of a way of explainin' things (though he had no idea if he would be able to speak or not in the next couple of minutes...), when he saw Kaylee's confused look break into a massive smile.

'Fore the Doc could get a word out, she jumped in with a loud "Yeah, Jayne - you did real good with the apples. We'll be in fresh fruit for a couple of weeks, a few months even, if we flash-freeze a bunch."

The table erupted into conversation again, everybody agreein' Kaylee and thankin' him again, and soon everythin' went back to normal dinner conversation. He joined in as much as he could, tryin' desperately to focus on something other than what felt like a burnin' hot brand on his left cheek and the small girl who had given it to him.

And when dinner ended, with Mal and 'Nara starting to clean up - everybody began to peel off, grabbin' an apple or two for dessert - Jayne was happy to leave and go back to his bunk. He could use some time to mindlessly clean his guns, and _not_ think about anythin'... or anyone.

He was just about to get up, when he felt a feather-light brush of something across his arm, and then a barely-there squeeze of his shoulder...

He took care not to look up too quickly (or _eagerly_) and saw a flash of long brown hair whipping out and then disappearing around the doorway.

Once he was sure Mal and 'Nara were fully occupied, flirtin' and _pretendin'_ to do the dishes (he swore those two were worse than horny teenagers), he finally allowed himself a grin.

Best gorram money he'd ever spent - buying those apples.

* * *

><p>Jayne wished he'd never bought those ruttin' apples.<p>

Nothing but trouble.

His own damn fault.

Sure... for the first couple of days, it had been real nice. It was funny how much people cared 'bout food - the crew was in high spirits, not too concern'd with the stretch in the Black waitin' for 'em - and Jayne was the one takin' the credit for that.

'Nara had made that pie she'd promised and he'd been given the largest piece, and the other night, while playin' Tall Card - Zoe had even speared one of the slices of her apple (with a wicked sharp knife that gleamed dangerously - always liked Zoe - fine woman, she was) and offered it to him.

All in all, he'd counted this one as a clear win.

...and then the Girl had started showin' up.

He'd be workin' out or movin' crates in the bay or cleanin' his guns or mindin'-his-own-businessjust_ breathin' _ and she'd be there.

With an apple.

It was like she _knew_.

(Probably did too. Gorram Reader.)

Now Jayne didn't have no _special preferences _as such (he'd heard about guys who liked some right kinky stuff) - he was a man of simple tastes - but the way Ri-_the Girl_ ate an apple...

Wasn't right. Shouldn't be causin' _that_ kind of reaction.

The first time was two days after he'd bought the crates. He'd been sittin' in the mess, polishin' his guns, and she'd sat down across from him with a book. He'd continued to focus on his guns - willin' himself not to look up or act jumpy (like he seem'd to all the time now, when she was around) - when he'd seen her grab an apple from the large bowl of 'em in the middle of the table.

He continued to polish, barely liftin' his head, and - heard rather than saw - her take the first bite.

It was that unmistakeable sound - the rasp of teeth on the outer skin, and then the crisp bite of contact with the flesh, always follow'd by the sort of soft, wet _squish_ of chewing.

He'd always liked that sound.

The visual was something else.

Not being able to resist, he looked up and noticed she was starin' at the apple - with an almost blind focus - before she'd taken another bite. Like everything else she did, the bite was small, precise, delicate and when she'd pulled away, he saw a small speck of juice on her bottom lip. He couldn't help it. Gazin' at that drop, his thoughts turned a couple of scenarios he'd been dreamin' on ever since that day she'd _thanked him_ - involving apples, those lips, and his bunk - when he saw her tongue dart out and lick her bottom lip.

Way. too. _Slowly._

...yep, definitely meant'ta give 'him a coronary.

And then seemin' to notice she was bein' watched, she looked up at him with a soft smile on her face, her massive brown eyes questionin' him.

_Aiya_.

He managed to pack up all o'his guns in under a minute flat, steadily ignorin' her and _that_ smile.

And then he got the _hell _out'ta there.

* * *

><p>But she kept poppin' up all over the place.<p>

And every time, he'd notice the _downright improper_ way she'd eat those damn apples. He'd even looked around a couple a times, hopin' he'd see someone else in the crew just as _disturbed_ by her eatin' habits. But no one else seemed to notice.

Figures. It would be his own_ personal_ hell. Shiny.

It didn't make no sense even - the Girl must've eaten her body weight in gorram apples. For all the time she'd been on the ship, Jayne couldn't even remember her eating much more'n a handful of protein everyday, but with the apples... it was three a day, for a damn _week_. She was goin' to make herself sick. And kill him in the process.

Today, he had been workin' out in the bay, doin' his best to ignore River and her apple (sittin' on a crate and readin' a book 'bout five times the size of her head), when the Doc had come wanderin' down. Speaking a few quiet words to his sister, she'd jumped off the crate and skipped off in the direction of the bridge. _Ah, thank you Doc._

And then, instead of hearin' the Doc's footsteps retreat to the sick bay or mess, he heard him get closer. Refusing to stop, he continued to complete his set when he'd heard the Doc stop in front of him.

"Jayne... could I have a word?"

Finishing his set, he grabbed his towel, wiped the sweat off his face and neck, and fixed the Doc with a stare.

"Two minutes, Doc."

The Doc gave him a small grin and continued, "Yes, I promise - this will be short. I just wanted to talk to you about the apples... and River."

Jayne gulped and tried to keep his face straight. He knew this would happen.

"Look Doc, I had no idea your sister was going to plant one -"

Simon laughed and cut him off, "No, no. I wasn't talking about that. She was just pleased. I mean, I'll admit it was... uh, unexpected, but it's fine. I mean, she's always been a very tactile person," - at Jayne's blank look, he hurried to explain - "...you know, very physical. She likes to touch things - feel them. She expresses herself like that."

Yeah, he knew. She'd slashed him across the chest, hit him over the head, and kissed him on the cheek. Three-Percent wasn't the only one with a workin' brain and eyes.

"Alright Doc, I get it. She's handsy. Why're you telling me this?"

The Doc gave an embarrassed smile, "I'm sorry. I'm going off-topic. I was just tryin' to thank you again for buying the apples, especially for River. I mean, I know they aren't cheap, particularly in the vast quantity you purchased. That was very generous of you. "

Jayne could feel a certain amount of heat risin' to his face. He didn't want it gettin' around that he was _generous_. Generous was almost always followed by _kind _(he shuddered)_. _He had liked the attention 'n all (the pie was _de_-licious), but he didn't want 'em gettin' carried away. He racke'd his brains for a response.

"Yeah, well... I happened to be walkin' by. The geezer at the stall said he couldn't find any buyers and he was going to have to get rid of 'em soon anyway. Apples are my favourite. I thought - might as well not waste 'em. Didn't cost me much."

Simon fixed him with a look that said he didn't believe him, but Jayne wasn't backin' down and he stared right back - darin' the younger man to challenge his story.

But the Doc didn't seem in an arguin' mood and just shook his head slightly, "Still. It was very nice. The last time you bought apples, River was delighted. I managed to put together from some of the information that she gave me that when she was - " the Doc paused and his jaw stiffened, " - at the Academy, her food was mostly raw protein mixed in with a heavy cocktail of mood stabilizers, performance enhancers, and hormone-inhibitors. As such, she is still somewhat repulsed by processed protein. Fresh food, especially fruit - which she wasn't allowed to eat in the entire three years - is a particular luxury for her."

_Wo de ma._

Jayne had never managed to get used to it. Even after all the stories the Doc had told 'em over the years. And he didn't think he would. That Academy was worse'n any hell he could have ever _imagined _existed. Bastards. If he ever got his hands on any of 'em...

Jayne cleared his throat, and looked back at River's brother seriously, "Well - glad I bought 'em then, Doc. Sometimes... things work out better without you plannin' on it."

And this time, they had.

The Doc glanced at him then, his expression a little surprised at the larger man's response - before shooting him a small smile. He nodded at him, signaling the end of the conversation, and walked out of the bay.

Three hours later, Jayne was stretch'd out in the common area- readin' his new gun mags - when he heard barely-there footsteps entering the room, followed by a small weight settlin' on the opposite end of the couch. Hearing the tell-tale crunch of a just-bitten apple, he didn't even have to look up to see the small, pretty girl curled up next to him, book in hand - no doubt followin' him - just like she had 'most everyday for the past week.

But he found that, this time - he didn't mind so much.

Crisp. Clean. Sweet. Fresh. _Mouthwatering_.

...she was startin' to smell like apples.

* * *

><p><span>AN:I'll make you a deal - each review gets a _shiny_ cyber-apple.*

(*Jayne sold separately).


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